I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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