i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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