Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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