im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
