Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
