is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
