You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
