Me too!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
