shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize