There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
