I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
