T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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