thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize