I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm too high and old for this...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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