My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
