I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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