you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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