Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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