I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
