fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Congratulations! We have a period
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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