My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize