i need an iv and a liver transplant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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