i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
