The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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