Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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