the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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