that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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