I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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