Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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