you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
smell my finger.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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