Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
