i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
