we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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