I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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