Me too!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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