found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
