you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
