Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
