i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do vagina's smell?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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