I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
