Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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