If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize