Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
