White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
