Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
