Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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