you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize