Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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