I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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