when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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