you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We got so high we made milksteak
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You can't just leave with hair like that
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
