We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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