it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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