haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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