You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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