I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
